Tag Archive for: Daydream Believers

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Aligned + Awake

Everyone has heard the saying, “everything in your life happens FOR you, not TO you”, right?

And what about, “everything that is meant for you will not pass you by”? 

How about, “you are exactly where you should be”? 

These are quotes we see, hear and read everywhere these days in order to feel aligned, awake and free. 

I truly believe this. I drink the Kool-Aid. In fact, I’ll take it one step further and say that I truly LIVE MY LIFE by all of these sayings, and I have never felt more aligned and awake than I do right this second.

The last few years have been the most challenging ones of my life, for many different reasons. My husband had a bad accident and lost a finger (could have been his life!) whilst completing his final commission before closing down his wood working side-gig. It was scary shit. 

My parents passed away within 18 months of each other, and as an only child, I felt alone, detached, sad and broken. Hello, grief storm! We moved from the city to a small town on the water, only to realize after three years that it wasn’t for us and we needed to move back. Packing sucks. Making values-aligned decisions does not. 

Space to Heal

Oh, did I mention that in the midst of losing limbs, parents and the inability to remember my postal code, I launched my biz out into the real world AND assumed my husband’s name (no simple feat). The dream is free; the hustle is sold separately (or so they say).

When 2019 kicked-off, I thought I was just going to slide back into a flow state because I wanted to.  Because it had to after all this craziness, right? I deserved a break after all the life changes I fought through, right? (some obviously self-inflicted). There is no way things could NOT just fall back into place so I could move forward with ease; pretty please?! Ha, ha, nope. That’s not how life works, My Dreamers. That’s not how freedom is found.

I felt stuck. I felt sad. I felt sick. I felt unmotivated. I felt lost. And I most certainly did not feel FREE in any sense of the word. After a couple months of pushing, pulling, forcing and fighting, I finally surrendered to “The Plan” and began to HEAL: mind, body and soul. Deep and dirty work.

I worked on getting my adrenally exhausted body back to normal functioning. I worked on balancing my way-out-of-whack hormones so I could have energy to do things again and to feel joy again. I fed myself well, let myself sleep and focused on my yoga practice with healing intentions. I read and I wrote, and I cried. 

I sought support through my husband, my friends and family, also a grief counsellor who all allowed me to unravel in a safe way so that I could piece myself back together again. I took a huge and scary step back from my business so I could have space to heal. I slowed things down. I nourished and nurtured myself, I let myself feel in order to heal. 

Time to awaken

You see, in the forcing, I was keeping myself stuck. In the pulling, I myself, was being pulled backwards. In the pushing, I was met only with resistance. It was only when I leaned into the space I gave myself to heal and the permission to take my time to do it right, was I able to trust and surrender to the unfolding of my life.

I knew something needed to shift. I knew something was missing and out of alignment. I knew whatever it was, needed time, love, compassion, trust and to be able to show up.

I needed to be ready and I needed the space to heal. I didn’t know what it looked like but I called it in. I believed in it. I believed in myself. Funny thing about time and space; they help us heal. My body began to heal. My heart began to heal. My mind began to heal. My soul began to heal.

“Everything in my life has happened FOR me, not to me.”

“Nothing that is meant for me will pass me by.”

“I am exactly where I should be.”

I feel Aligned and Awake and ready for a new decade to begin.

I found my Freedom.

Love + Freedom,

Shari xo

Values, Vision and Vulnerability

Values by definition:

  • The regard something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.
  • A person’s principles or standards of behaviour; one’s judgment of what is important in life.

The things we hold as “valuable” in our lives are the things that mean the most to us. D’uh! As humans, our Core Values are the Guiding Light or the North Star by which we navigate through the twists and turns of life. What we value becomes the way we make decisions, in all areas of our lives.

But, if we aren’t clear on what we value most in life, we aren’t connected to what is important to us, and we aren’t aligned to what feels like the truth for us as individuals. This can cause issues such as confusion as to what we actually want for ourselves, an inability to make decisions for ourselves, the habit of making hasty decisions without thought or intention, or to look outside of ourselves for the answers of what to do. Life happens, and somewhere along the way, our Guiding Light dims, the North Star is nowhere to be found, and we feel lost and disconnected. In other words, we feel STUCK.

One of the first things I do with my 1:1 Coaching Clients is to help them to get crystal clear on their core values. When what we value most in life is clear, from there we can begin to create the vision of what we would like our life to look and feel like, every single day.

The power of change comes from the clarity of what we value most, followed then by the courage to act towards your vision of the life you dream of + deserve. From courage comes the commitment to yourself to keep acting, in small consistent steps forward. The 4 C’s of change require heaps of vulnerability and allowing yourself to get real, raw and honest about what you want in your life. And this begins with aligning with your values.

Freedom Finder

My core value is FREEDOM. In order for me to find MY freedom, I first needed to establish that freedom is, in fact, what I value most in life. From there I had to get clear on what it looked like in all areas of my life. What freedom means to me in my Health, Wealth, Career, Relationships, Spirituality, Creativity and Leisure time will be so different from what it might mean for you.

We’re talking about OUR OWN lives here, not someone else’s. Finding out what you value the most and then defining what that looks and feels like for YOU in all areas, is the foundation of creating the vision of a life fulfilled.

In this space, you can then begin to make all of your decisions based on your values, which makes it so much easier. If you ask yourself the question, “does this feel like (Your Values)”, when faced with a decision in any area of your life, you will immediately know the answer. Your intuition will tell you if it’s a “Hell Yes!” or a “No”. But without the clarity of what you value and what that looks like for YOU, the answers aren’t as easy to come by, so you need to start looking outside of yourself for them. Nobody knows what is best for you better than YOU!

My wish is to empower you to get clear on your values and align with the vision of the life you dream of, and then to move confidently in the direction of your dreams. To make this super easy for you, I’ve created a cool tool for you to easily discover what your core values are, and then to begin creating the vision of the life you want. Click here for your free Values Assessment Worksheet and stop dreaming of the life you want and start living it!

love + freedom,

Shari xo

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Happy Birthday, October!

The calendar has just turned over into October, and as much as I truly consider myself a ‘Summer Girl’, October has a place in my soul that can’t be denied. I was born in October and am a true-to-the-core Libra, so something in my DNA forces me to feel at home in October. I’m not going to bore you lamenting all things pumpkin spice, cozy sweaters, boots, crisp fall air, and falling leaves, but, I HAVE to shine some light on my favourite parts of October.

From homemade soups and stews with fresh bread, turkey dinner with the family (all the noms!) and a birthday cake shared by me and my mother in law (our birthdays are two days apart) October reminds me of ‘home’. And, if I close my eyes and quiet myself, I can still smell all the familiar scents that connect me to October in Northern Ontario. It feels like a warm, fuzzy blanket by a crackling fire (maybe drinking a pumpkin spice something-or-other).

Birthday Traditions

Every year since I turned 20, my dad would send me a birthday card with a cheque for exactly $10 for every year I was alive, and I absolutely adored this Birthday Tradition. I decided a few years ago to create my own Birthday Tradition to share with the world, which usually includes a special list of things exactly the number of years I have been blessed to be here on planet earth. So, here is some fun and insight into who I am.

These Are a Few of My Favourite Things:

1-    Coffee in bed with my loves. (watching Caribbean Life + dreaming)

2-    Kitties (beyond obsessed)

3-    Real books with real pages (Amazon is my boyfriend)

4-    Turkey dinners with all the fixings (stufffffffinnnnngggggg)

5-    Beaches (sand or pebble, I’m in love)

6-    The ocean (she heals me)

7-    Fresh from the salon hair (srsly, tho)

8-    Brand new white kicks

9-    An all-black outfit (pretty much my life’s uniform since High School)

10-    Red lipstick (Mac Ruby Woo for the win)

11-    Poppies (le sigh)

12-    Lemon curd anything (extra points for French meringue)

13-    French Onion Soup (best hangover cure EVER!)

14-    Cold pizza for breakfast (or just pizza)

15-    Plants, plants, everywhere!

16-    Road trips with my man (the longer the better)

17-    Crackling fire (inside or out, you had me at fire)

18-    My mom’s pierogis (she was a master)

19-    Pickled anything (my Ukranian roots)

20-    Sheets dried on a clothesline (fresh)

21-    Freshly cleaned floors

22-    The smell of a new country as I step off the plane (magical)

23-    The Roaring 20’s (in a past life I was a flapper)

24-    A really dirty gin martini (three olives, please!)

25-    The end piece of a fresh baguette (I’ll fight you for it!)

26-    The colour turquoise (all shades will do)

27-    The smell of sandalwood

28-    Rock n roll (Led Zep + Queen are tops)

29-    Storytelling with friends + family (my heart explodes for these moments)

30-    Laughing till I can’t breathe (even if I pee a little)

31-    Television (sorry-not-sorry)

32-    My Chanel handbag (that I bought myself, thank-you-very-much)

33-    My free spirit and unwillingness to accept “good enough”.

34-    My sensitive soul (thanks Mom)

35-    The way my cats’ paws smell (sweaty + sweet)

36-    Triangles and arrows (obsessed with Viking Culture)

37-    Planning my next tattoo (can’t stop, won’t stop)

38-    A drive amongst farmland (I secretly love the smell of manure!)

39-    The crackling of an LP (records for life!)

40-    A good make-out session (dreamy)

41-    Daydreaming (I have a Ph.D. in it)

42-    Watching people begin to rise from the ashes to thrive (it’s never too late)

43-    Juicy conversation (even heated, always better than small talk)

44-    Being a student again and again (unapologetically nerdy)

45-    Having my hands-on people’s faces (like a moth to a flame)

46-    Seeing how long I can go without washing my hair + still looking human (borderline obsessed)

47-    The courage to share myself with the world. (like me or leave me, I’m here!)

I invite you all to find a Birthday Tradition of your own as a way to celebrate the unique gifts that make you the best version of you. Share them with the world in a way that feels like freedom and see what magic you discover. Happy Birthday October!

Love + freedom,

Shari xo

Welcome back!

As my social media feed is bombarded with back-to-school photos of every kid on the planet, I can’t help but think that there is a “welcome back” in there for all of us.

September is New Year’s Eve’s little sister (and is secretly-not-so-secretly my favourite month) and no matter what age or chapter of life you are in, there’s the feeling of a fresh start, a shift, a “welcome back”.

Wait, for me too?

Yes, YOU! For those of you who don’t have kids but took some much-needed time this summer to chill, to have fun and to re-connect to all the good things that bring you joy, you are now ready to get back to some routine. For my fellow entrepreneurs who chose businesses that allowed you to slow things down when the weather is warmer, you are now gearing up to hit the ground running for a strong final quarter. And for those of us who needed the space and time this summer to work on ourselves, to heal, to realign and to find freedom where we felt stuck – welcome back.

Shift Into Glide

It’s not always easy to shift from that feeling of FREEDOM in the summer months to gliding back into your regular work groove, however, what I know to be true is that routines and rituals help. As a freedom finder and Life Coach, many of my clients struggle with anxiety and stickiness during this transition, so here’s a simple list of things that have helped them (and me) to Shift into Glide:

  1. Re-visit your goals and map out what you want to accomplish for yourself in the next four months. Write them down. Find out what support do you need to help you get there. Invest in it.
  2. Take some time to look at your weekly and monthly calendars. Set up work routines and tasks that are consistent and aligned with your goals. Block them in and begin to follow through like a boss. If the follow-through isn’t your jam, get an accountability partner/coach.
  3. Get back to into a regular sleep schedule that will consistently have you getting your eight hours a night, and have you feeling in control of your days. Pick a time that works for your life and stick to it.
  4. Get back to create morning and evening rituals that bookend your days with intention. Link them to how you want to feel, how you want to show up and how you want your days/weeks/months to look. For example, set daily intentions, give gratitude, create mantras, meditate, read, listen to podcasts, journal – find your own rituals and make them a habit by practicing them.
  5. Block-in time for consistent movement, mindfulness and self-care and COMMIT to it. Put these things into your calendar as non-negotiable. Taking care of yourself is a habit that is built by process, not event. It takes time. Don’t think you’ll follow through? Pair up with a friend and commit to each other.

Easing yourself back into simple, fun and meaningful routines and rituals can help you to shift into glide. It will help you cruise right into this new chapter, this new season, this new opportunity to show up and live your best life. If you’ve been feeling lost, disconnected and stuck with this transition, you’re not alone.

Meet yourself exactly where you are, with love, compassion, and patience, and take one step forward. Begin to create your own routines and rituals that get you out of bed, fire you up and inspire you to take steps forward in the direction of your dreams. I’m here if you need a loving and supportive stretch. WELCOME BACK.

Love and Freedom always,

Shari xo

 

 

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Finding Freedom

Freedom. Ahhh. Just the sound of this word feels like a deep belly exhale. It allows your shoulders to drop from your ears just a little. It brings a softened smile to your face. Freedom often reminds us of a time when we were younger and free of the stressors of adulting. The struggle is real, my beautiful dreamers, but you never have to go finding freedom alone. I got you.

Freedom has been my number one value for as long as I can remember, it’s the core of what I help my Life Coaching clients to find in their lives too. But finding freedom can seem so ambiguous, impossible even, which is why it’s so important to define what freedom actually means for YOU, in all areas of your life. I’ve been on the finding freedom train so long I am practically driving the dang thing, so I know a thing or two about what freedom feels like, for me. But I also know what does not feel like freedom and how to re-align myself to get back on the train. You can too!

Clarify, Define, Align

If freedom is what you are longing for, but you aren’t exactly sure what that means for you, it’s probably because you haven’t defined what it actually FEELS like in the different areas of your life. You see, it’s the FEELING that matters most, and what feels like freedom to me, might be completely different from what it feels like for you. Because you need to clarify what freedom looks and feels like in the major areas of your life to be able to decide if what you are doing is in alignment with freedom, or off the rails of the freedom train.

Here is a practice I do with myself and with all of my clients.

1) List out the major areas of your life – I call them The Big 7:

– Health
– Relationships
– Finances
– Career/Purpose
– Creativity
– Connection to Source/God/Spirit
– Leisure/Hobbies.

2) Clarify exactly what your life would look and feel like in each of these areas if freedom was present. Write it out in as much detail as you can. See yourself experiencing freedom in all areas with ease. Who would you be? What would you be doing? How would you show up? What wouldn’t you be doing? Who would you be with? Where would you be? What would you be feeling in every cell of your body?

Becoming crystal clear on what freedom feels like in each of The Big 7 will help you make decisions in your life that align you with what you value most. Because, if it isn’t clear then how on earth will you know if it’s there or if it isn’t?! It’s important that you clarify YOUR definition of freedom, and not your mother’s, your sister’s, your partner’s or societies. YOURS.

3) Now every time you are deciding, in any area of your life, you can ask yourself, “does this feel like freedom?” If the answer is “yes”, then go for it! If the answer is “no”, take a step back and evaluate what is missing or out of alignment for it to feel like freedom and for you to hold your own integrity. Shift gears, course-correct or simply get off that train altogether.

Trusting your inner guide is all you need in order to know if you are in integrity with your values or not. Resistance, anxiety, compensatory strategies and buffering to avoid are all ways your inner guide is trying to tell you something is off. These signals are vital messengers trying to alert you that you are off course in your quest to finding freedom. Remember, these signals are not telling you to quit! They are reminding you of what you value most, which is freedom, they are helping you to re-align with what matters most to you in your life! How awesome is that!

In everything I do, from the foods I eat, to the people I spend time with, to the work I throw myself into, I continue to ask myself if it feels like freedom. It’s an automatic response for me now because I’ve practiced it so much. My soul now knows what freedom looks and feels like. Is it always perfect? Heck no! But, I know to trust the signs and signals when something is off. I am better able to make decisions that align with my values, keep my in integrity with myself, allow me to live the life I know, I want and deserve. Finding freedom isn’t as hard as you think it is. Freedom equals clarity, courage, commitment and consistency. Freedom is yours if you want it. You’ve got this and I’ve got you. xo

finish the year strong heal with shari aurora
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Finish The Year Strong

Hmmm kaaaayyyy, we’ve all heard this statement a few hundred times + it seems that everywhere we turn someone is telling us how ‘finishing the year strong’ is key for setting ourselves up for success in the new year. Whether you’re an entrepreneur hustling for a killer Q4; or someone who has put health as a priority + isn’t willing to let the Holiday Season Food Frenzy kill your groove, finishing the year strong is a way of finding completeness with the year. It’s about closure, the ultimate in Follow-Through, and about giving yourself something to REALLY celebrate on New Year’s Eve. I am not here to argue this perspective, but I am here to offer some perspective, because, well… LIFE.

As a relatively new solo-preneur, I have put much blood, sweat + tears into setting goals; employing strategies, re-visiting what worked + what didn’t + working hard at doing what I have to in order to ‘finish strong’ from quarter to quarter, month to month, week to week + day to day. I take workshops + courses, listen to podcasts, read books, engage in challenges, hire coaches + participate in support groups to keep my biz flowing in the direction of growth + to keep me in the game of finishing strong in all that I do.

I was on track to finish strong. I had the plans + the inspired motivation to execute a strong finish in 2018. I saw this as an awesome segue to a strong 2019. And then Life lifed.

When Life Throws You A Curve

My mom died + in the weeks I spent by her side during her graceful transition to her Spirit + Soul Life, I lost track of my goals + my plans + what I needed to do to achieve a strong finish to the year. My goal was to help my dying mother feel loved + feel safe + feel ready to let go. My goal was also to step up my mindful presence when it was most needed. To give myself permission to fully just Be where I wanted + needed to. I would never have the luxury of a do-over of this experience.

I detached from all things biz in the most responsible ways I could. I didn’t abandon my business, but my attention + energies did go in a different direction. One that I CHOSE for myself. I stepped away from my plan to finish strong in the final quarter of the business year + instead chose to SHOW UP strong for my mom in her final days of LIFE. And it taught me that we can plan + plan + plan our lives, but LIFE is gonna life + that is where the lessons lie.

A New Kind of Finishing Strong

You see, Beautiful Dreamers, in the re-jigging of my focus, my plans to finish the year strong took on a new look + my focus shifted in the most beautiful + self-honouring way.

  • instead of trying to be more visible in my biz, I gave myself permission to get quiet + to look inward to see what I truly needed to heal.
  • instead of filling my days with tasks, I gave myself space to lean into the grief + not try to bypass the healing process.
  • instead of telling those who asked how I was doing that I was ‘fine,’ I told them the truth. Sometimes it was, “I’m okay,” sometimes it was, “I’m really sad” + other times it was, “I’m pissed off at the world.” But I chose to NEVER say I was fine when I wasn’t, just for others’ sake.
  • instead of being the one to be there to support everyone + help them to rise, I allowed myself to lean on others, to ask for support + to practice the art of receiving, which is never an easy task for me, but I did it.
  • instead of ‘muscling through’ in true superhero fashion, I let myself feel ALL the feels associated with such a great loss. I did some deep inner work to release myself of the pain + guilt + old stories from my past. It got ugly but it felt like freedom.

A Shift in Thought

I think about my plans to finish strong this year + whatever that meant to me before my mom passed away has shape-shifted into something even more empowering + healing than numbers + dollars. I am finishing the year strong in a different way now. A way that feels much more powerful, much more in flow + much more aligned to how I want to feel in my life, always. As I set my intentions for 2019, I have the reminder that Life happens FOR US, not TO US + sometimes we have to re-define what that means for ourselves. But, regardless of the twists and turns life hands us, when we are true to what really matters to us, we will always finish strong.

With light, love + empowered action always,

Shari xo

Daydream Believers Tribe on Facebook - Heal with Shari - Holistic Lifestyle & Mindset Coach Aurora, Newmarket, Keswick, Ontario, Canada
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The Daydream Believers Tribe

My school teachers all said I was a very good student, but my report cards always said I daydreamed too much. For years I was conditioned to view daydreaming as “bad.”  I still did it, daily. How could I NOT?!  It was + always will be part of my heart, my soul, my entire being. I know that sounds dramatic, but daydreaming truly is part of my identity. It’s who I am. And thankfully, now, it’s a part of me that I embrace + I am proud of + that stretches me to take action in the name of my dreams.

Dreaming is Believing

I decided a very long time ago, that I would re-write that old, self-limiting story that “Daydreaming is bad for me.” I replaced it with a new, more EMPOWERING story where DAYDREAMING is the superhero in my life. It is the catalyst + fuel I need in order to BELIEVE I can make all my dreams come true. Daydreaming has become my partner-in-crime. My BFF. My Soul Mate. And because of my trusty friend The Daydream, here I am, at age 45, co-creating a life I could only imagine, well—you got it—dream of!

As a Solo-Preneur, I get to decide what that life looks like FOR myself, BY myself + on MY OWN terms. Since I’m right smack dab in the middle of the scary-but-exhilarating process of creating my DREAM LIFE + BELIEVING I can have it all + deserve it all, I thought I’d share a little of what that means. My hope is to inspire you to give yourself permission to dream a little dream + believe it’s possible for you. Then you can take action + see what unfolds for you.

I am not + never truly am, detached from my business. It’s who I am. Staying connected to my work feels right, and yet I align my days to reflect my core values, beliefs + dreams. One of these dreams was a life + career that would be location independent. I always knew I wanted to be able to work from the backyard in my hammock, from my boat, or from the beach. I daydreamed this life a long time ago + now it’s mine to live. In Real Life, Folks! I am no different from any of you, but I DID decide that being a Daydream Believer is going to help me, not hinder me. And I BELIEVE you can create your dream life too. All it takes is a little ol’ daydream.

Dream-Believe-Do-Repeat

When you consistently BELIEVE in yourself + in your dreams, and you commit HARD to this belief, you can BE, DO + HAVE anything your heart desires. This, My Friends, is a conviction I live, thrive + will eventually die by. I build my beliefs upon my daydreams because I KNOW + TRUST that it’s the way to get my brain to figure out the “hows”  + to attract the people, things + opportunities necessary to make it all happen. Then I take MASSIVE ACTION, fear + all!  I try a bunch of different things until I land on what works. As Pema Chodron says, “Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth”. The TRUTH here, friends, is YOUR DREAMS MATTER.  Dreams + Belief + commitment + action = success. Wash, rinse + repeat as new daydreams arise.

My wish is to inspire you to dream big + believe + commit + act + grow + evolve +  LIVE YOUR DREAMS. Follow my journey + as I grow, you will too. We’ll be DAYDREAM BELIEVERS together as Tribe-Mates. I got your back, Dreamer.

Daydream Believers Tribe - Holistic Life Coach - Heal with Shari - Shari Miller - Keswick, Aurora, Newmarket, Ontario, Canada

Start Dreaming

I invite you to begin now with this challenge:

  • DAYDREAM daily about what you’d like your future to look like + BELIEVE it can be yours + commit HARD to that belief.
  • Allow your mind to DREAM up ways to make it happen.
  • Step into that Future Life as though it’s happened already.
  • Feel it. Practice it. Love it. Live it.

My grade school teachers said I daydreamed too much, well I call bullsh*t on that, because my daydreams have led me to set goals + to believe in them and in myself + to commit so hard that success has been inevitable. I want this for you too.

Join my Daydream Believers Tribe on Facebook I invite you to join the conversation. You can connect via Facebook, Instagram, or leave a comment right here on the blog.

With light, love + empowered action always,

Shari xo