Tag Archive for: Holistic Coaching

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Time for reflection

I have always had a reflective practice. It has helped me connect, align (my guiding word for 2020) and grow forward, in both my business and in my life. 

It began when I was little; I was always the deep thinker, the seeker, the sensitive one who always looked further than what was in front of her. I found it has helped me to see what worked, what didn’t work, and what could be changed. It allowed me to reframe my perspective and improve, which lead me to living a magical life of freedom. 

In my healing journey, I spent a lot of time reflecting on my life. The funny thing about having space for yourself in life is that you are almost forced to reflect.  It happens naturally within that sacred space, and that my dreamers, is where the magic happens. 

I get it. Some of you are thinking to yourself, “but how can I create space in my already full and busy life? It’s impossible. I just can’t right now. Maybe down the road when the kids are grown, the bills are paid, blah, blah, blah.” Nope. Sorry, not sorry, but that’s not how it works. That’s not how big magic is created.

Creating Space

Creating space for yourself in your life to think, to breathe, to reflect, to feel and to HEAL must be intentional and deliberate for it to empower you. It’s not always perfect timing and it doesn’t always feel safe and comfortable. Creating space can be downright scary! But let me tell you something; when space is needed in your life, it doesn’t ask permission. It comes barging in, in the form of resistance, illness, “stuckness”, sleeplessness, anxiety, depression, feelings of “lostness” and disconnection, compensatory strategies (emotional eating, anyone?), the list goes on. It forces its way in until you have no choice but to do something about it.  Sound familiar? 

Making the brave and bold move to create space in your life, to slow down and to simplify things so you can get clear about what you actually want, need and wish to create, is one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself. I know because I’ve done it. Many times. Sometimes by choice; sometimes by force, but when I’ve allowed space to partner with me in this deliberate and intentional way, ALWAYS, yes, ALWAYS, my eyes were opened to what my heart and soul had been crying for. Then, and only then, have I been able to see the magic, make the magic, be the magic that creates a life aligned and fulfilled. A life of Freedom. 

Big Magic

2019 forced me to create space. I was grieving the loss of my parents, I was sick, tired, sad and lost. Not exactly the ingredient to make magic, right? But, I have honed the skill of radical self- awareness. I can now see the signs. I reflected on my past and realized my own “stuckness” was begging me to make space, to be brave and courageous enough to take a step back. To slow down. And to allow myself to feel, to heal, to see clearly and to decide what I needed in MY OWN LIFE to truly feel free.

And I found it.

I found my magic again.  And I couldn’t see it or feel it through the clutter of a busy (ugh, that word) life. I couldn’t see it through the forcing and the “shoulding” and the continuing to try to show up in a way that didn’t align to my core. That didn’t align with what I value most in all aspects of my life. FREEDOM. 

Then I got to work. 

What was missing from my life? What needed to go? What could I improve on and what was going well? What new habits did I need to practice that supported this freedom life?  When I cut out the noise around me, I was able to tap into my soul and ask myself all of the questions I had been avoiding, and then to answer them with truth and realness. The answers WERE the magic! 

The Other Side of HEAL with Shari

By creating space, I was able to feel.

By being stuck, I was able to heal.

By going deep, I was able to get real.

The pain of “stuckness” forced me to create space. Space guided me to connect to my core. The connection allowed me to find my magic again.

I realized what was missing, went out and found it, and I invited it into my life. Intentionally and deliberately.

I needed to be part of a team again.

I needed to feel the energy exchange only hands-on healing can provide.

I needed to reignite my passion for holistic skincare.

And so, I did.

The Magic and Freedom I have created in my life, being able to work from home as a Holistic Freedom Life Coach AND to work with an incredible team of hands-on healers at Province Apothecary as a Holistic Skincare Therapist is a dream. A dream I created for myself by creating space for the answers to arrive, and then to act in the direction of my dreams.

Magic, freedom and a life fulfilled are available to us all.

If you feel stuck, let me help you.

You can find me at Province Apothecary, Wednesdays, Thursdays + Sundays.

Love + freedom + glowing skin,

Shari xo

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Aligned + Awake

Everyone has heard the saying, “everything in your life happens FOR you, not TO you”, right?

And what about, “everything that is meant for you will not pass you by”? 

How about, “you are exactly where you should be”? 

These are quotes we see, hear and read everywhere these days in order to feel aligned, awake and free. 

I truly believe this. I drink the Kool-Aid. In fact, I’ll take it one step further and say that I truly LIVE MY LIFE by all of these sayings, and I have never felt more aligned and awake than I do right this second.

The last few years have been the most challenging ones of my life, for many different reasons. My husband had a bad accident and lost a finger (could have been his life!) whilst completing his final commission before closing down his wood working side-gig. It was scary shit. 

My parents passed away within 18 months of each other, and as an only child, I felt alone, detached, sad and broken. Hello, grief storm! We moved from the city to a small town on the water, only to realize after three years that it wasn’t for us and we needed to move back. Packing sucks. Making values-aligned decisions does not. 

Space to Heal

Oh, did I mention that in the midst of losing limbs, parents and the inability to remember my postal code, I launched my biz out into the real world AND assumed my husband’s name (no simple feat). The dream is free; the hustle is sold separately (or so they say).

When 2019 kicked-off, I thought I was just going to slide back into a flow state because I wanted to.  Because it had to after all this craziness, right? I deserved a break after all the life changes I fought through, right? (some obviously self-inflicted). There is no way things could NOT just fall back into place so I could move forward with ease; pretty please?! Ha, ha, nope. That’s not how life works, My Dreamers. That’s not how freedom is found.

I felt stuck. I felt sad. I felt sick. I felt unmotivated. I felt lost. And I most certainly did not feel FREE in any sense of the word. After a couple months of pushing, pulling, forcing and fighting, I finally surrendered to “The Plan” and began to HEAL: mind, body and soul. Deep and dirty work.

I worked on getting my adrenally exhausted body back to normal functioning. I worked on balancing my way-out-of-whack hormones so I could have energy to do things again and to feel joy again. I fed myself well, let myself sleep and focused on my yoga practice with healing intentions. I read and I wrote, and I cried. 

I sought support through my husband, my friends and family, also a grief counsellor who all allowed me to unravel in a safe way so that I could piece myself back together again. I took a huge and scary step back from my business so I could have space to heal. I slowed things down. I nourished and nurtured myself, I let myself feel in order to heal. 

Time to awaken

You see, in the forcing, I was keeping myself stuck. In the pulling, I myself, was being pulled backwards. In the pushing, I was met only with resistance. It was only when I leaned into the space I gave myself to heal and the permission to take my time to do it right, was I able to trust and surrender to the unfolding of my life.

I knew something needed to shift. I knew something was missing and out of alignment. I knew whatever it was, needed time, love, compassion, trust and to be able to show up.

I needed to be ready and I needed the space to heal. I didn’t know what it looked like but I called it in. I believed in it. I believed in myself. Funny thing about time and space; they help us heal. My body began to heal. My heart began to heal. My mind began to heal. My soul began to heal.

“Everything in my life has happened FOR me, not to me.”

“Nothing that is meant for me will pass me by.”

“I am exactly where I should be.”

I feel Aligned and Awake and ready for a new decade to begin.

I found my Freedom.

Love + Freedom,

Shari xo

Welcome back!

As my social media feed is bombarded with back-to-school photos of every kid on the planet, I can’t help but think that there is a “welcome back” in there for all of us.

September is New Year’s Eve’s little sister (and is secretly-not-so-secretly my favourite month) and no matter what age or chapter of life you are in, there’s the feeling of a fresh start, a shift, a “welcome back”.

Wait, for me too?

Yes, YOU! For those of you who don’t have kids but took some much-needed time this summer to chill, to have fun and to re-connect to all the good things that bring you joy, you are now ready to get back to some routine. For my fellow entrepreneurs who chose businesses that allowed you to slow things down when the weather is warmer, you are now gearing up to hit the ground running for a strong final quarter. And for those of us who needed the space and time this summer to work on ourselves, to heal, to realign and to find freedom where we felt stuck – welcome back.

Shift Into Glide

It’s not always easy to shift from that feeling of FREEDOM in the summer months to gliding back into your regular work groove, however, what I know to be true is that routines and rituals help. As a freedom finder and Life Coach, many of my clients struggle with anxiety and stickiness during this transition, so here’s a simple list of things that have helped them (and me) to Shift into Glide:

  1. Re-visit your goals and map out what you want to accomplish for yourself in the next four months. Write them down. Find out what support do you need to help you get there. Invest in it.
  2. Take some time to look at your weekly and monthly calendars. Set up work routines and tasks that are consistent and aligned with your goals. Block them in and begin to follow through like a boss. If the follow-through isn’t your jam, get an accountability partner/coach.
  3. Get back to into a regular sleep schedule that will consistently have you getting your eight hours a night, and have you feeling in control of your days. Pick a time that works for your life and stick to it.
  4. Get back to create morning and evening rituals that bookend your days with intention. Link them to how you want to feel, how you want to show up and how you want your days/weeks/months to look. For example, set daily intentions, give gratitude, create mantras, meditate, read, listen to podcasts, journal – find your own rituals and make them a habit by practicing them.
  5. Block-in time for consistent movement, mindfulness and self-care and COMMIT to it. Put these things into your calendar as non-negotiable. Taking care of yourself is a habit that is built by process, not event. It takes time. Don’t think you’ll follow through? Pair up with a friend and commit to each other.

Easing yourself back into simple, fun and meaningful routines and rituals can help you to shift into glide. It will help you cruise right into this new chapter, this new season, this new opportunity to show up and live your best life. If you’ve been feeling lost, disconnected and stuck with this transition, you’re not alone.

Meet yourself exactly where you are, with love, compassion, and patience, and take one step forward. Begin to create your own routines and rituals that get you out of bed, fire you up and inspire you to take steps forward in the direction of your dreams. I’m here if you need a loving and supportive stretch. WELCOME BACK.

Love and Freedom always,

Shari xo

 

 

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Finding Freedom

Freedom. Ahhh. Just the sound of this word feels like a deep belly exhale. It allows your shoulders to drop from your ears just a little. It brings a softened smile to your face. Freedom often reminds us of a time when we were younger and free of the stressors of adulting. The struggle is real, my beautiful dreamers, but you never have to go finding freedom alone. I got you.

Freedom has been my number one value for as long as I can remember, it’s the core of what I help my Life Coaching clients to find in their lives too. But finding freedom can seem so ambiguous, impossible even, which is why it’s so important to define what freedom actually means for YOU, in all areas of your life. I’ve been on the finding freedom train so long I am practically driving the dang thing, so I know a thing or two about what freedom feels like, for me. But I also know what does not feel like freedom and how to re-align myself to get back on the train. You can too!

Clarify, Define, Align

If freedom is what you are longing for, but you aren’t exactly sure what that means for you, it’s probably because you haven’t defined what it actually FEELS like in the different areas of your life. You see, it’s the FEELING that matters most, and what feels like freedom to me, might be completely different from what it feels like for you. Because you need to clarify what freedom looks and feels like in the major areas of your life to be able to decide if what you are doing is in alignment with freedom, or off the rails of the freedom train.

Here is a practice I do with myself and with all of my clients.

1) List out the major areas of your life – I call them The Big 7:

– Health
– Relationships
– Finances
– Career/Purpose
– Creativity
– Connection to Source/God/Spirit
– Leisure/Hobbies.

2) Clarify exactly what your life would look and feel like in each of these areas if freedom was present. Write it out in as much detail as you can. See yourself experiencing freedom in all areas with ease. Who would you be? What would you be doing? How would you show up? What wouldn’t you be doing? Who would you be with? Where would you be? What would you be feeling in every cell of your body?

Becoming crystal clear on what freedom feels like in each of The Big 7 will help you make decisions in your life that align you with what you value most. Because, if it isn’t clear then how on earth will you know if it’s there or if it isn’t?! It’s important that you clarify YOUR definition of freedom, and not your mother’s, your sister’s, your partner’s or societies. YOURS.

3) Now every time you are deciding, in any area of your life, you can ask yourself, “does this feel like freedom?” If the answer is “yes”, then go for it! If the answer is “no”, take a step back and evaluate what is missing or out of alignment for it to feel like freedom and for you to hold your own integrity. Shift gears, course-correct or simply get off that train altogether.

Trusting your inner guide is all you need in order to know if you are in integrity with your values or not. Resistance, anxiety, compensatory strategies and buffering to avoid are all ways your inner guide is trying to tell you something is off. These signals are vital messengers trying to alert you that you are off course in your quest to finding freedom. Remember, these signals are not telling you to quit! They are reminding you of what you value most, which is freedom, they are helping you to re-align with what matters most to you in your life! How awesome is that!

In everything I do, from the foods I eat, to the people I spend time with, to the work I throw myself into, I continue to ask myself if it feels like freedom. It’s an automatic response for me now because I’ve practiced it so much. My soul now knows what freedom looks and feels like. Is it always perfect? Heck no! But, I know to trust the signs and signals when something is off. I am better able to make decisions that align with my values, keep my in integrity with myself, allow me to live the life I know, I want and deserve. Finding freedom isn’t as hard as you think it is. Freedom equals clarity, courage, commitment and consistency. Freedom is yours if you want it. You’ve got this and I’ve got you. xo

finish the year strong heal with shari aurora
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Finish The Year Strong

Hmmm kaaaayyyy, we’ve all heard this statement a few hundred times + it seems that everywhere we turn someone is telling us how ‘finishing the year strong’ is key for setting ourselves up for success in the new year. Whether you’re an entrepreneur hustling for a killer Q4; or someone who has put health as a priority + isn’t willing to let the Holiday Season Food Frenzy kill your groove, finishing the year strong is a way of finding completeness with the year. It’s about closure, the ultimate in Follow-Through, and about giving yourself something to REALLY celebrate on New Year’s Eve. I am not here to argue this perspective, but I am here to offer some perspective, because, well… LIFE.

As a relatively new solo-preneur, I have put much blood, sweat + tears into setting goals; employing strategies, re-visiting what worked + what didn’t + working hard at doing what I have to in order to ‘finish strong’ from quarter to quarter, month to month, week to week + day to day. I take workshops + courses, listen to podcasts, read books, engage in challenges, hire coaches + participate in support groups to keep my biz flowing in the direction of growth + to keep me in the game of finishing strong in all that I do.

I was on track to finish strong. I had the plans + the inspired motivation to execute a strong finish in 2018. I saw this as an awesome segue to a strong 2019. And then Life lifed.

When Life Throws You A Curve

My mom died + in the weeks I spent by her side during her graceful transition to her Spirit + Soul Life, I lost track of my goals + my plans + what I needed to do to achieve a strong finish to the year. My goal was to help my dying mother feel loved + feel safe + feel ready to let go. My goal was also to step up my mindful presence when it was most needed. To give myself permission to fully just Be where I wanted + needed to. I would never have the luxury of a do-over of this experience.

I detached from all things biz in the most responsible ways I could. I didn’t abandon my business, but my attention + energies did go in a different direction. One that I CHOSE for myself. I stepped away from my plan to finish strong in the final quarter of the business year + instead chose to SHOW UP strong for my mom in her final days of LIFE. And it taught me that we can plan + plan + plan our lives, but LIFE is gonna life + that is where the lessons lie.

A New Kind of Finishing Strong

You see, Beautiful Dreamers, in the re-jigging of my focus, my plans to finish the year strong took on a new look + my focus shifted in the most beautiful + self-honouring way.

  • instead of trying to be more visible in my biz, I gave myself permission to get quiet + to look inward to see what I truly needed to heal.
  • instead of filling my days with tasks, I gave myself space to lean into the grief + not try to bypass the healing process.
  • instead of telling those who asked how I was doing that I was ‘fine,’ I told them the truth. Sometimes it was, “I’m okay,” sometimes it was, “I’m really sad” + other times it was, “I’m pissed off at the world.” But I chose to NEVER say I was fine when I wasn’t, just for others’ sake.
  • instead of being the one to be there to support everyone + help them to rise, I allowed myself to lean on others, to ask for support + to practice the art of receiving, which is never an easy task for me, but I did it.
  • instead of ‘muscling through’ in true superhero fashion, I let myself feel ALL the feels associated with such a great loss. I did some deep inner work to release myself of the pain + guilt + old stories from my past. It got ugly but it felt like freedom.

A Shift in Thought

I think about my plans to finish strong this year + whatever that meant to me before my mom passed away has shape-shifted into something even more empowering + healing than numbers + dollars. I am finishing the year strong in a different way now. A way that feels much more powerful, much more in flow + much more aligned to how I want to feel in my life, always. As I set my intentions for 2019, I have the reminder that Life happens FOR US, not TO US + sometimes we have to re-define what that means for ourselves. But, regardless of the twists and turns life hands us, when we are true to what really matters to us, we will always finish strong.

With light, love + empowered action always,

Shari xo

It's September Time to Start Again Healing With Shari Health Coach York Region
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It’s September So Let’s Start Again!

Those are BIG words: ‘Start Again.’ They can evoke a sense of failure or of wrong-doing. Of falling off the wagon of ‘Life-ing.’ But I am here to change ALL of those feelings for you. You see, for me, a true ‘Start-Againer,’ those words never carry a low-vibe feeling. In fact, they excite me to no end! Starting Again means you get a chance to do something new + awesome. Or something better than what you might have done before. The sentiment has a freshness to it that sings to my soul + my biggest wish for all of you, My Healing Dreamers, is to FEEL into the words Start Again + to believe that nothing but amazingness can come from a fresh start.

September has always been my favourite Start Again time. I LOVE the New Year, but there’s something about the ease + flow of summer’s end that inspires us to get off our butts, get organized, get back into routine + get sh*t done. As an entrepreneur it’s that golden opportunity to set some serious BIZ goals + finish the year strong. As a human being, it’s that golden opportunity to set some serious LIFE goals + commit to yourself. Deciding to Start Again, in any area of your life is an opportunity to see the possibilities for something new, something different, something better + to CHOOSE to go there. And, yeahhhh Girl to START AGAIN!

The Queen of Start Again

I am known as The Queen of Fresh Starts, do-overs, jump-in-with-both-feet-before-I’m-ready life changes. It’s kinda my thang + it can be yours too. If you open yourself up to it + surrender to the process of adopting The Beginner’s Mind in all you do. When you think about it, our entire lives are a series of Start Agains. We learn to crawl, then we start again when it’s time to walk. We go through grade school making our way to the top in grade eight + then we start again at the bottom in our first year of high school. I’m sure you can see where I am going with this, but I want to nail it down for you so you can see just how many times you’ve actually started again and survived.

Maybe you went to college, beginning as a freshman, scared as hell + in a few years you graduated with confidence + got a job + had to start again at entry level. You were single + then got married. You were childless + then had a baby. You got fired + had to hit the pavement to find a new job. You ended a bad relationship + started a new life of independence. You went back to school as an adult after being in the workforce + had to readjust to a new schedule. You lost someone you loved dearly + had to keep on living without them. You cut off all your hair + then decided to grow it back out. You moved to a new city/country + had to figure out the groove of your new community. You had a full house + are now an empty nester. You quit the job you’ve had forever + now what?

Let’s say it together: you START AGAIN!!!

You Have, You Can + You Will Again

We’ve all started again so many more times in our lives than we can count, so why do we tell ourselves it’s too hard THIS TIME? Why do we let the narrative in our heads tell us we aren’t brave enough, or courageous enough, or daring enough to do it again when it really counts? As a Holistic Lifestyle + Mindset Coach, my work is all about empowering women to believe that they can begin a new chapter in their lives. No matter who they are + where they are in their lives. My goal is to pull out of them the belief that they can start over. Because they have done it before, they can + they will Start Over again. But this time it will be more out of inspiration than obligation. I want that for you too!

Here Are Five Ways to Shift Into a Start Again Vibe:

  1. Cut out something in your diet that isn’t making you feel your best.
  2. Make each day a Gratitude Sandwich by giving gratitudes upon waking + right before bed
  3. Get outside + move for at least 30 minutes a day.
  4. Limit your time on Social Media to 1 hour in the am + 1 hour in the pm only.
  5. Find something that you love doing but stopped for some reason + START AGAIN!

With light, love + empowered action always,

Shari xo

Daydream Believers Tribe on Facebook - Heal with Shari - Holistic Lifestyle & Mindset Coach Aurora, Newmarket, Keswick, Ontario, Canada
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The Daydream Believers Tribe

My school teachers all said I was a very good student, but my report cards always said I daydreamed too much. For years I was conditioned to view daydreaming as “bad.”  I still did it, daily. How could I NOT?!  It was + always will be part of my heart, my soul, my entire being. I know that sounds dramatic, but daydreaming truly is part of my identity. It’s who I am. And thankfully, now, it’s a part of me that I embrace + I am proud of + that stretches me to take action in the name of my dreams.

Dreaming is Believing

I decided a very long time ago, that I would re-write that old, self-limiting story that “Daydreaming is bad for me.” I replaced it with a new, more EMPOWERING story where DAYDREAMING is the superhero in my life. It is the catalyst + fuel I need in order to BELIEVE I can make all my dreams come true. Daydreaming has become my partner-in-crime. My BFF. My Soul Mate. And because of my trusty friend The Daydream, here I am, at age 45, co-creating a life I could only imagine, well—you got it—dream of!

As a Solo-Preneur, I get to decide what that life looks like FOR myself, BY myself + on MY OWN terms. Since I’m right smack dab in the middle of the scary-but-exhilarating process of creating my DREAM LIFE + BELIEVING I can have it all + deserve it all, I thought I’d share a little of what that means. My hope is to inspire you to give yourself permission to dream a little dream + believe it’s possible for you. Then you can take action + see what unfolds for you.

I am not + never truly am, detached from my business. It’s who I am. Staying connected to my work feels right, and yet I align my days to reflect my core values, beliefs + dreams. One of these dreams was a life + career that would be location independent. I always knew I wanted to be able to work from the backyard in my hammock, from my boat, or from the beach. I daydreamed this life a long time ago + now it’s mine to live. In Real Life, Folks! I am no different from any of you, but I DID decide that being a Daydream Believer is going to help me, not hinder me. And I BELIEVE you can create your dream life too. All it takes is a little ol’ daydream.

Dream-Believe-Do-Repeat

When you consistently BELIEVE in yourself + in your dreams, and you commit HARD to this belief, you can BE, DO + HAVE anything your heart desires. This, My Friends, is a conviction I live, thrive + will eventually die by. I build my beliefs upon my daydreams because I KNOW + TRUST that it’s the way to get my brain to figure out the “hows”  + to attract the people, things + opportunities necessary to make it all happen. Then I take MASSIVE ACTION, fear + all!  I try a bunch of different things until I land on what works. As Pema Chodron says, “Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth”. The TRUTH here, friends, is YOUR DREAMS MATTER.  Dreams + Belief + commitment + action = success. Wash, rinse + repeat as new daydreams arise.

My wish is to inspire you to dream big + believe + commit + act + grow + evolve +  LIVE YOUR DREAMS. Follow my journey + as I grow, you will too. We’ll be DAYDREAM BELIEVERS together as Tribe-Mates. I got your back, Dreamer.

Daydream Believers Tribe - Holistic Life Coach - Heal with Shari - Shari Miller - Keswick, Aurora, Newmarket, Ontario, Canada

Start Dreaming

I invite you to begin now with this challenge:

  • DAYDREAM daily about what you’d like your future to look like + BELIEVE it can be yours + commit HARD to that belief.
  • Allow your mind to DREAM up ways to make it happen.
  • Step into that Future Life as though it’s happened already.
  • Feel it. Practice it. Love it. Live it.

My grade school teachers said I daydreamed too much, well I call bullsh*t on that, because my daydreams have led me to set goals + to believe in them and in myself + to commit so hard that success has been inevitable. I want this for you too.

Join my Daydream Believers Tribe on Facebook I invite you to join the conversation. You can connect via Facebook, Instagram, or leave a comment right here on the blog.

With light, love + empowered action always,

Shari xo