Aligned + Awake
Everyone has heard the saying, “everything in your life happens FOR you, not TO you”, right?
And what about, “everything that is meant for you will not pass you by”?
How about, “you are exactly where you should be”?
These are quotes we see, hear and read everywhere these days in order to feel aligned, awake and free.
I truly believe this. I drink the Kool-Aid. In fact, I’ll take it one step further and say that I truly LIVE MY LIFE by all of these sayings, and I have never felt more aligned and awake than I do right this second.
The last few years have been the most challenging ones of my life, for many different reasons. My husband had a bad accident and lost a finger (could have been his life!) whilst completing his final commission before closing down his wood working side-gig. It was scary shit.
My parents passed away within 18 months of each other, and as an only child, I felt alone, detached, sad and broken. Hello, grief storm! We moved from the city to a small town on the water, only to realize after three years that it wasn’t for us and we needed to move back. Packing sucks. Making values-aligned decisions does not.
Space to Heal
Oh, did I mention that in the midst of losing limbs, parents and the inability to remember my postal code, I launched my biz out into the real world AND assumed my husband’s name (no simple feat). The dream is free; the hustle is sold separately (or so they say).
When 2019 kicked-off, I thought I was just going to slide back into a flow state because I wanted to. Because it had to after all this craziness, right? I deserved a break after all the life changes I fought through, right? (some obviously self-inflicted). There is no way things could NOT just fall back into place so I could move forward with ease; pretty please?! Ha, ha, nope. That’s not how life works, My Dreamers. That’s not how freedom is found.
I felt stuck. I felt sad. I felt sick. I felt unmotivated. I felt lost. And I most certainly did not feel FREE in any sense of the word. After a couple months of pushing, pulling, forcing and fighting, I finally surrendered to “The Plan” and began to HEAL: mind, body and soul. Deep and dirty work.
I worked on getting my adrenally exhausted body back to normal functioning. I worked on balancing my way-out-of-whack hormones so I could have energy to do things again and to feel joy again. I fed myself well, let myself sleep and focused on my yoga practice with healing intentions. I read and I wrote, and I cried.
I sought support through my husband, my friends and family, also a grief counsellor who all allowed me to unravel in a safe way so that I could piece myself back together again. I took a huge and scary step back from my business so I could have space to heal. I slowed things down. I nourished and nurtured myself, I let myself feel in order to heal.
Time to awaken
You see, in the forcing, I was keeping myself stuck. In the pulling, I myself, was being pulled backwards. In the pushing, I was met only with resistance. It was only when I leaned into the space I gave myself to heal and the permission to take my time to do it right, was I able to trust and surrender to the unfolding of my life.
I knew something needed to shift. I knew something was missing and out of alignment. I knew whatever it was, needed time, love, compassion, trust and to be able to show up.
I needed to be ready and I needed the space to heal. I didn’t know what it looked like but I called it in. I believed in it. I believed in myself. Funny thing about time and space; they help us heal. My body began to heal. My heart began to heal. My mind began to heal. My soul began to heal.
“Everything in my life has happened FOR me, not to me.”
“Nothing that is meant for me will pass me by.”
“I am exactly where I should be.”
I feel Aligned and Awake and ready for a new decade to begin.
Love + Freedom,
Shari xo
